Your young adult child is gradually moving out into the world on their own. Of course , you have fears. How could you watch the news and not worry about what's in store for them? How could you see rental rates rising daily and not worry if good housing will be attainable? How could you witness the growing social inequalities and unrest and not feel afraid about the dangers they’re surrounded by? As a parenting coach, I know you're scared. Of course, you are. And yet, it som

When I was growing up, there was, in our house, a clear delineation between acceptable and shameful behaviour. Between being a good person or bad. If I didn’t follow the rules and meet expectations, I was given extra chores, humiliated, scolded, criticized, spanked and/or shunned. It was supposed to make me stay on the right path. But punishment didn’t make me more obedient; it just made me sneakier. I devised plans and did things behind my mom’s back, all the while feeling

Have you ever asked your teen or young adult child to change their behaviour – stop leaving a mess in the kitchen, badgering their sibling, expecting you to remember their appointments - and been met with, "Why can't you just love me for who I am?" Oof. Those words hit you in the center of your heart and send your mind racing to the hundreds of moments when you might not have shown your love as clearly as you would have liked. Then you're questioning yourself as a parent or

When I was in my 20s, at a time when I was trying to connect more deeply with a boyfriend, I had a powerful dream. I saw myself on a broad spiral staircase in a circular tower, like a lighthouse. I stood on a step and looked at a particular section of the wall that was new to me and yet, somehow, familiar. I leaned over the railing and below I could see the markings of different times when I’d had trouble trusting men but longed for their attention. Farther down, I knew, was

You are going to mess your kids up - you probably already have. So, let's take the pressure off. You don't have to be a perfect, always gentle, completely mindful, constantly composed parent. You’re not expected to be all that all the time. It’s impossible. Some mothers are terrified of messing up their kids. As a parenting coach, I've seen them wrestle with the wounds of their own childhood and carefully watch what’s going on in other families (and society in general). They

Respect your elders. When I was growing up, ‘respect your elders’ was one of the mostly unspoken but not-to-be-messed-with tenets of our family. It was up there with honesty and taking care of your neighbours. I witnessed it in how my dad was with his father: never contradicting him and always letting him have the final word. Even when my dad obviously disagreed, he didn’t cross him, at least not to his face. I’m not sure I would call that respect - more like submission for t

Every parent, at one time or another, wonders if someone else doesn’t know better what to do in a particular parenting situation. I mean, parents are surrounded by parenting advice. A barrage of podcasts and bestsellers on conscious parenting, peaceful parenting, mindful parenting, awakened parenting… And the voices of grandparents, teachers, professors, religious leaders, psychologists and neighbours. Everyone seems to have an opinion about how you should be raising your kid

When our kids grow up and they’re in their late teens and early 20s, we can really feel the increasing distance between them and us. It’s painful. Even though we knew the time would come, we never expected that they would feel far away from us. Never, when we were helping them put on their socks or reading them the same story book for the fifth time or driving them back-and-forth and back-and-forth and back-and-forth and back-and-forth to volleyball practice… never did we thi