You Don’t Have to Walk through the Fire Swamp Alone
- Lori K Walters
- Apr 25
- 4 min read
After 30 years on my path of personal evolution and the last 12 years developing my skills as a personal coach, it’s crystal-clear to me that most of us need coaches.
We need a coach when the terrain is uncomfortable and unfamiliar.
When the pain points are different from what we’d hoped.
When the hurdles seem far off... until you hit them, and you’re thrown into something that feels like it’s way above your skillset.
And this is especially true when you’re moving toward a different relationship with your big kid, one that you can imagine but have never experienced before. That’s when you need someone who has traveled farther than you have, someone who can walk alongside you, hold up a lantern and guide you through your particular fire swamp.
That’s what transformational coaches do.
That's what I do.
It’s sacred work and it’s my calling. When I’m sitting with a mother who's struggling, exploring and opening new doors, there’s a feeling of doing the thing I'm meant to do, a rightness, a deep yes, a sense of alignment with the nature of Life.
The mothers who I’ve supported say,
“Thank you for becoming the kind of guide you knew moms like me would need.”
“Thank you for staying with me the whole way.”
“Thank you for changing the course of my relationship with my teenager.
“Thank you for being pivotal in my life.”
That’s the power of skillful, soulful coaching.
If You’re Feeling Lost, Overwhelmed, or Alone
If you’re stuck in a place you don’t want to be with your young adult child, you probably need a coach. And if you know where you want to go but don’t know how to get there, you probably need a coach.
Not more DIY, crossing your fingers and hoping it will pass.
Not more solo struggle (or expecting your partner or sister to have the answers).
Not more internal spinning, lying awake, falling apart or panicking.
A coach.
A guide.
A mentor.
A human.
Tools can help. Books and webinars can help. But when you're going through real transformation and becoming a different kind of mom, you need someone who’s walked the path and can shine a light and hold your hand.
How I Walked Beside Kathy
"When I started this coaching journey, I was a bit of a wreck. My 21 year old daughter was struggling with a serious illness and I'd gotten into a habit of manically trying to make things right for her. Obviously, we all want to make things right for our children, but in my case, I realized that my seemingly noble mission was also a convenient way for me to avoid feeling the pain of the situation.
Working with Lori, I developed the ability to stay present with my daughter, even when I am scared or uncomfortable. This in turn gave my daughter space to voice what she thought was best for herself, increasing her confidence and allowing her to become the strong, independent woman that she was meant to be.
At the end of my coaching journey with Lori, it felt like someone had come and opened all the curtains in my house - I can now see more and farther than I have in so many years.
Now, I keep noticing the times when my daughter and I share an honest, heartfelt laugh. These moments feel so pure and joyful. And we wouldn’t have been having them if I hadn’t had this coaching."~ Kathy R., Yellowknife, Canada
Is This the Right Time to Get Coaching?
Only you can decide. But if it helps, here’s how I know it’s time for me to reach out to one of my coaches:
My day-to-day lived experience is out of alignment with my vision and values. I.e. this isn’t how I want to be living this aspect of my life. And I don’t want to end up where this road is headed.
I know what I want to be able to experience, but I can’t quite see the path to get there. Like being in a thick fog and hearing birdsong on the other side of it. If I could just...
I’m catching myself repeating a pattern and I know it’s not something I can just hope or self-reflect my way out of. I’m cycling through the same attempts over and over, desperately throwing different kinds of spaghetti at the wall hoping something, anything, will stick. And it’s impacting my trust in myself.
I feel powerless and alone and my gut keeps telling me that I need support.
This change feels scary/ exciting. Whispers of doubt say it’s out of my comfort zone (healthy resistance) and beyond my current capabilities (room for growth). And it’s enticing my heart and soul.
You Don’t Have to Walk through the Fire Swamp Alone
If you’re on the transformational path of motherhood, then mentorship isn’t some kind of a luxury - it’s the bridge you need between where you are now and the future you’re moving toward.
And none of us has to walk it alone.
Leaning into a coaching relationship is liberating. You get asked the right questions that shake those old habits loose and help you locate yourself. Usually what’s on the surface is driven by something else. When we shine light in places that have been out of your view, we unearth the stumbling block, and new possibilities open up.
We work on developing your capacity to stay calm in the storm of parenting teens and young adults. So you can have a steadier, more intentional approach and feel like you're doing it the way that you believe it should be done. You develop into a way of parenting that feels more ‘you’ than ever before. You feel content with how you and your young adult are writing the story of your relationship.
If your heart is whispering, "I want this", I’ve got coaching openings now for a few more moms. If you need someone to hold up the lantern and you’re curious how it would work, let's get together on a Chemistry Call and talk about it.
And FYI, you don't need to worry about being pressured to sign up because, let's face it, I may or may not be the right coach for you. If it doesn't feel like a good fit, that's ok. You'll leave with some more clarity, and we'll both feel good about that. And if it feels right and you want to work more deeply with me, we can talk about next steps.
