- Lori K Walters
Why Cross the Swamp?
In my comfort zone, I feel safe.
I believe I’m in control.
I believe I feel fine.
My life looks good on the outside but… something feels wrong.
I feel stuck in neutral, trapped in a holding pattern, persisting, enduring.
I’m not sure how I got here.
But I am called to something truer.
I venture to the edge to take a peek.
The swamp looks scariest from the edge: murky, muddy, imagined hazards.
It’s width and depth are hard to discern.
What if there are snakes or sharp rocks or entangling weeds?
I am afraid of feeling pain.
Afraid to confront the lies I’ve been telling myself: “I don’t know what to do. I’m screwing up my children’s lives. I don’t deserve to be a parent. I must protect my family. A good parent should...”
This edge, where others stop and return to familiar ground
Afraid of truth.
I hesitate and yet know I cannot stay here.
I am unwilling to end up where my current trajectory leads.
I must shift.
Faith pulses through my veins as I step into the swamp.
Faith that I am held by something greater. I will be ok.
Faith that there’s more of me to be unearthed: more ability as a parent, more love to radiate.
Here and now.
No room to be attached to what was nor resistant to what’s coming.
Wading in the moment, sensing the messy, uneven ground beneath my footfall
Discerning and moving in real time, step by step.
Setbacks abound in the swamp. A loaded moment and we fall back into those old auto-responses. We screw up. We get discouraged, frustrated, embarrassed.
Our comfort zone invites to us back to that seemingly solid ground.
What makes a seed push open is what compels us forward.
We try again.
And new capacity grows in us. New self-knowledge.
And what’s on the other shore?
Parents whom I have accompanied through their personal swamps say:
I am now living and learning in partnership with my children.
I am fulfilling my sacred role as a mother now.
I am living the truth of who I am and modelling that for my kids.
I am a respectful, confident father who is actually connected with his family.
I am at ease.
And so, dear parent, I invite you to consider:
What’s the cost of staying in your comfort zone?
What is calling you forward to change your way of being?
What’s on the other side of your own swamp?
Contentment. Serenity. Confidence. Connection. Empowerment. Integrity. Resourcefulness. Spark. Simplicity. Wholeheartedness. Choice. Belonging. Presence. Love. Peace.
You can have that.
Absolutely, definitely, you can.
Do you need support to traverse your swamp? Most of us do.
Let’s get you unstuck so you can be parenting from within, fully and beautifully you, raising yourself as you raise the resilient, creative, emotionally intelligent children whom the world so clearly needs.
With you on the parenting journey,