- Lori K Walters
Asking for help when we feel like we’re failing as a parent
There’s no such thing as a perfect parent.
We know it.
And yet we often behave as though we must fulfill this role flawlessly. We are steered by an internal sense of having to look like we have it all together. We march onward alone in a society that applauds doing it all by ourselves. We hide certain stories so friends and family don’t see our missteps.
And we don’t reach out for help when we need it.
When I became a mother, I felt like everyone was watching me. I was striving to do everything right and put on a good performance. All the while, I felt like I was screwing up.
Did I ask for help? No way. I didn’t want anyone to see me being a mediocre parent. I even moved to Canada’s Far North, where I didn’t know a soul. Talk about going it alone.
What I came to see over the years was that going it alone is so so soooo unnecessary.
I invite you to pause for a moment and reflect upon the ways you’re trying to do it right and do it alone.
What beliefs surface when you consider the prospect of asking for help?
In what ways, subtle or obvious, are you resisting help?
Are you afraid to admit where you’re struggling?
In what situations do you pretend you’ve got it all figured out?
How are you isolating yourself on your parenting journey?
It’s this tendency in parents to isolate themselves that breaks my heart. That’s why I provide a place for parents to ask for support. It’s why I create a gentle space to hold that sorrow, embarrassment or exasperation. No judgements here, only deep appreciation of where you’ve come to and skillful support to move you forward in your relationships with your kids.
When parents ask for help, new possibilities open up.
Like a wide angle lens bringing in more light.
More space for more love.
With you on the journey,
Photo by Tara Winstead: https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-text-on-white-textile-8386730/