You're longing to make a change.
You’re stuck in a worn-out pattern that doesn't feel right anymore.
Your way of parenting isn't working - not with this kid, not in this situation.
You feel the gap in your relationship is widening and you know it’s not just a phase.
You want a closer heart connection.
Photo by Lori Walters
You’ve done so much
First, let's honour all the work you’ve done to get this far. All the love you’ve given, all the challenges you’ve weathered, all the growth you've accomplished.
And now there's a problem. Perhaps it's your daughter's mental health or your son's social life. Perhaps it's their poor grades or inactivity. You’re doing everything you can think of to guide and support them. Or maybe you feel frozen and unable to do anything.
It feels like your whole relationship is slipping away and it’s breaking your heart. You can see your own role in this dynamic and you’re committed to changing your approach.
And since you want to be the best parent you can be, you’ve probably done some of these things:
Attended a parenting workshop or webinar and got all fired up, only to have the inspiration fizzle out in a couple of weeks.
Read a parenting book or two, but couldn’t find a way to apply those principles in your own situation.
Tried over and over to create more opportunities for heart to heart communication but it never quite got traction.
Worked on your inner edges: looking at your patterns, going deeper in your heart and trying to see what’s triggering and blocking you but, instead of getting clearer, you’re just getting more bogged down.
Some of these things have probably given you some insight and relief, but you’re still struggling. You can see the trajectory you’re on and you’re not willing to settle for permanently strained relationships with your grown kids.
Proceed with self-compassion
If you’re like many parents, you might be secretly blaming yourself (I know, I sure did). Is part of you thinking you’re not smart enough or calm enough? That you’re not a good parent? That you’ve screwed this up too badly to be fixed?
None of that is true.
In fact, there are some fundamental reasons why you may not have gotten the results you wanted:
The truth is that books and workshops can’t see you, your heart or your most deeply held vision for your relationships with your kids. You end up looking for your own situation amongst the author's ideas and examples. It doesn't seem right to try to apply such generic solutions to issues involving the most precious relationships in your life.
It’s like being handed an atlas when what you really need a skilled guide to
help you see exactly where your feet are now and the next steps that are right for you.
Webinars and books cannot walk beside you every step of the way or help you bring a new parenting approach into your real daily life. It breaks my heart that so many parents end up knowing what they want to be doing but aren't given the tools to actually do it.
And if you're trying to copy your sister-in-law, neighbour or friend... their methods may work well for them and their kids but using their strategies in your family can be like borrowing someone else’s glasses – helpful but not quite right, and often making things blurrier.
Change is hard by yourself.
You can partially see that well-worn rut you’re falling into. You have a sense of where your auto-pilot takes over. You know you have blind spots (like all of us). You feel that basic human resistance to change, trying to divert you at every turn.
Going it alone is hard hard hard.
The solutions are not outside you.
Although we wish someone would hand us the blueprints for our children, the truth is that our way of really connecting with our children is found within ourselves. In our hearts. In our self-compassion and our deep love for them.
Photo by Lori Walters
You don’t need another parenting prescription
You need a way to explore the corners of your heart and soul and bring your connections alive.
A way that honours your individuality.
A way that provides solid support to embody those changes.
Essential Elements of an Effective, Heart-Centered Parent Coaching Program
1. Honouring the Individual
When it comes to improving the most precious relationships in your life, I believe that personalization is essential. You need a way of moving forward that is perfectly aligned with the unique person you are, exactly where you are on your parenting journey and what’s getting in your way - right here, right now.
There are coaching programs that focus on changing your mindset, and others dedicated solely to somatic awareness, spirituality, emotional intelligence or communications. But you are a distinct constellation of many human aspects and your growth as a parent is unique. You need to engage in a coaching program focused completely on you - body, mind, heart and soul – so you make changes that work expressly for you.
2. Holding the Present and the Future
Change isn’t a linear trek from problem to solution. It's a combination of releasing old ways that are complete for you and instilling the new that you've only been able to imagine so far. My approach illuminates how you’ve been connecting with your child and what exactly has been bogging you down. And, it simultaneously holds a clear vision of the relationship you’re longing for, so you can become increasingly connected to the new parts of you that are emerging. Working with both of these aspects in parallel creates a dynamic space for your evolution as a parent.
3. Living the Change
It won’t surprise you when I say that, for this shift in your parenting to be sustainable, it must be integrated into your daily life. This means taking carefully-designed steps, one by one, to develop the specific capabilities you need to be able to connect more deeply with your child.
As you practice, mess up, tweak and polish these new abilities, I provide deep compassion and skillful guidance, until they become part of your natural way of being with your kids.
You will relate to your kids in a way that that feels natural because it's aligned with who you are.
Whatever your background, this is absolutely possible for you.
"When we started, I felt like I was falling backwards in my parenting but, within weeks, I could already feel things changing in me. Not just thinking it, but actually doing it. I am very grateful for Lori's wise guidance and the way she stayed with me until I really had it in me. Lori was like a calm midwife in the birth of my new approach to parenting. The changes in me and my children make my heart sing every day."
F Glenn, Edmonton
"Lori was so attuned with where I’m at in my own journey as a man and as a father. She created the quality of space I needed to access parts of myself that I hadn’t been able to connect to on my own. This was a transformative experience, both inner and outer, much more than I had expected from coaching. And I love the way I’m being a father now."
Barry Holmes, Vancouver
What’s involved in a coaching program?
We meet online every 2 weeks.
Our discussions produce poignant "a-ha" moments as you begin to see things with new perspective.
You engage in short daily practices that hone your new capabilities. You start responding differently in those previously impossible situations.
You move forward and build a more genuine connection with your child that feels oh so right in your heart.
"Lori is a very skillful coach, and a wise mother. Her calmness and non-judgement created a beautiful space to explore and grow in. I feel so solid in how I am parenting our daughter now. I am finally being me and parenting my way and it feels good in my heart. And my daughter is responding to me differently too. The resentment is fading and we’re building something new together. And that’s worth gold.”
Benita Lang, Toronto
"I came to Lori with a challenging parenting struggle that had plagued me for years. She listened attentively, provided creative and outstanding guidance, while simultaneously letting me be the driver of my own solutions. My relationships with my adult children has improved and I feel much more confident as a father."
Scott, New York
Photo by Lori Walters
About now, you may be thinking, “That sounds like what I need but I am very busy raising my kids. I don’t think I have time for a coaching program.”
I get that. I’m a mother and I know how that feels.
That’s why my coaching programs don’t take you out of your real life or add more work on top of it. In fact, changes to your way of parenting have to take place in your real day-to-day life. So that’s where you’ll be practicing. You learn how to dance on the dance floor, right?
You might also be wondering if your partner and kids need to be on board with this. And the answer is no. The beauty of developmental coaching is that your new way of parenting will emerge gradually, one interaction at a time, in a way that feels natural in your family life.
This is your journey to conscious, connected parenting.
It is a highly effective process rooted in human development theory, models of change and consciousness evolution.
It is also your rediscovery of what is deeply meaningful to you and the profound power of love and interconnectedness.
"There is a new peacefulness in me, thanks to you and your guidance. You were right there when I stumbled around, giving me a new way to see things. I am so happy to feel this connection between my soul purpose, my role as a mother and my real-life interactions with my son."
MLK, Monterey Ca
"I could write 10 pages about how transformative my coaching experience with Lori was. Her questions showed me things that I had been unable to see in the tangled roots of the stories I was caught up in. The practices I did were just perfect to help me trust my instincts and speak honestly. This was deep work that touched my heart and soul."
Jillian S., Melbourne, Australia
Benefits of my Coaching Program
First and foremost, you feel a stronger connection with your child. In your day to day interactions, of course, but also in your heart and the energy of your home. As one client put it, “I fell in love with my daughter all over again.”
You relax and enjoy your time with them. Free from the constant worry, striving and pushing, you are spontaneous and creative, living in all the mystery and beauty of parenting.
All of the parents I've worked with have expressed relief at being more themselves with their kids. They stopped pretending that they had it all figured out and, instead, developed faith in themselves and followed their instincts and most heartfelt values.
You accept and appreciate them more. You see them with fresh eyes and deeper understanding.
You are more self-confident. You have skills. You have ways of communicating that work for you and your grown child. You know how to create supportive environments where they feel comfortable sharing. You have a new way of being them that assures you that, when life throws the next curve ball, you will find a way through it together.
"I have reaped the rewards of clarity, inner peace, and confidence that I wouldn’t have found without Lori. Her calm and caring energy made it easy for me open up deep truths. She lifted the fog and helped me find a clear understanding of who I am and who I want to be. Lori flowed with my changing needs as my layers were peeling away. She is wise and she is in her Dharma."
Rich Sievewright, Whistler BC
"Lori has a natural gift to listen deeply, with meticulous curiosity and genuine appreciation, and to facilitate your own process of deeper knowing, trusting, and shifting. This is real work, with concrete results. If you're looking to shake off old patterns and identities that are no longer working for you, and step more fully into yourself, Lori is going to be a gift in your life."
Jennifer Eakins, Yukon
What to Expect
Expect ups and downs. There are times of frustration, resistance and confusion; there are times of exhilaration and grace. I walk beside you through all of it with expertise and care.
Expect to outgrow your need for a coach. Developmental coaching is designed to give you exactly what you need so you can set off again confidently on your own.
Expect to be engaged in a dynamic collaboration. Every step of our way is driven by your growing self-awareness and guided by my expertise.
Expect to be held with respect and compassion. Even when we're not together, you will know that I am holding sacred space for this essential change in you.